Braces

As you know, i'm wearing braces. And i've had more than a couple of people that asked some questions regarding these metal madness inside my mouth like:

1.) " Does it hurt? "

2.) " How do you eat? "

3.) " Will it rust with sea water? "

4.) " How long would it be on? "

5.) " How do you brush your teeth? "

6.) " What if you kiss another person with braces on, would yours tangle up with theirs  and you're stuck kissing each other forever?

7.) " Can you do oral sex without getting tangled up in your partner's pubes? "

And to answer those questions:

1. Only for a few days after adjustments. It doesn't hurt that much, just enough that eating crisps is gonna be a task.

2. With my mouth obviously.

3. Fuck no. I've been to the beach countless times now and no rust whatsoever. Stainless duh.

4. When my teeth decides that its utterly  pointless arguing with each other  and starts to closen up the gaps.

5. The same as before, except 10× more complicated.

6. What the fuck.

7. Ask somebody else. V-card holder here.

And some cons...

- Eating crisps without braces is bliss
    Eating crisps with braces on is a task

- Can't bite into fruits like apples and chewy stuff. Slice them first.

- Cruchies are your worst enemies. Either chew on them carefully and slowly or lose brackets. Even worse, swallow one.

- Braces take 50% of what you eat. Especially for people like me who eats rice, it's just ugh.

- You have to brush your teeth after every meal. AFTER EVERY MEAL. So in my case, i brush about a thousand  times a day. TOOTHPASTE GUZZLER.

- Can't smile while eating.

- Having your friend offer you your fave food but have to refuse because toothpicks are missing in action, is a total BUMMER.

- Some people tend to stare at your mouth while you are talking. If you don't want attention. Get boring rubber colors. Like clear ones or something. Idk.

- Saliva bombs everywhere. Or that's just me. Ew.

- Enunciation is affected. Saying "Thank You" could be heard as "Fuck you!"

- You basically look lika a cyborg when you smile.

So yeah that's that. Braces are good. And i do actually recommend them if your teeth are like mine which are err... "not aligned".

And it isn't my fault that i'm a gap toothed guy right?

Sure it comes with "some" niggles but it's all gonna be worth it when you smile one day and your teeth are aligned as fuck.



-Ian