How to Survive College?

College.

Ah yes. The point in your life where you want to hit your head with a hammer.

Just kidding.

It's the point in life where you want to stab yourself with a needle.

All the work doesn't really stop.
Having a break for five minutes is just too much. Five minutes is the difference between you passing your project on time and failing.

Here are some tips on how to survive each grueling semester in college; (trust me, i'm a college student so i know my stuff)

1. Pick the course that you like

Listen to your guts people. This is the most important decision that you'll make when you enter college. Know the things that you like and hate.

You love Math and drawing? Take Engineering.

You love drawing and designing? Take Architecture.

You love bussiness? Take Bussiness Ad.

You love fucking up your mind and other people's? Take Psychology.


2. Have an extremely good time management.

Time is not your best friend when in college. You think you have lots of time to do a specific task and then the next thing you know, your prof is asking for your output. And you're left there, mouthing the words;

 " I thought i had the time."

Well i'm sorry but no. Time is like a backstabbing bitch. You think you have many, but in reality you have none.
So when a prof tells you to do eighteen darn plates fifteen days beforehand, do it immediately.

 ( plates= fancy engineering drawings)

I experienced this first hand. My prof told us to do eighteen, EIGHTEEN plates. He announced it three weeks before the submission date. And being the greatest procrastinator who lived on earth, i didn't do it until it was only a week before the submission date.

I pulled of consecutive all nighters just to finish those fuckers. After i managed to submit them (barely), i looked like shit.

Literally.

I normally look like shit but this "shit-look" is on another level.

 Pimples everywhere, eyebags bigger than my back pack,  shaking hands due to endless drawings and letterings and a response time slower than Internet Explorer. Trust me, you don't want that to happen to you. Do your things on time.


3. Use your charm.

First impressions lasts. So when classes start, be sure to be always nice and polite and just have this really nice image. Not to be plastic but you really have to bring out the nicest image that you have  not just to your classmates but for your professors too.

Just think of it like this, you're a celeb that needs to take care of their public image so people would like you.

Be nice to everybody.

Just don't be an asshole.


4. Focus

I know what i came to do

And that ain't gonna change
So fuck you all.

Focus is one precious thing to have when in college. Put this on your mind;

"You came here to study and nothing else."

You should have more focus than Ariana Grande singing Focus inside a Ford Focus.

Gosh i'm terrible at jokes.

Specially when studying for exams. And in college, there's an exam for, i don't know, EVERYDAY.

Before entering a class, shake down all your thoughts and leave them outside the door. Listening to your lectures is the difference between passing and repeating the subject all over again the next semester. And that sucks.

Generally, college lectures are like this;

Professor: The two variables will make it possible to predict one if one of them is given.

Me: So that means that there is an established relationship between the two?

Professor: Yes.
Me: Okay i get it.

Random classmate: Hey can i borrow your pencil?

Me: Sure yeah

*gives the pencil then looks back at the board*

Professor: Ok. Now if the braking distance of the car from 100 km/h is 60 feet, compute for the mass of the earth.

Me: Fuck this shit i'm out.

So fuck your classmate who doesn't have a pencil and just focus or consider yourself fucked if you don't.


5. Have really good friends.

In college, you will meet two kinds of friends;

The Real ones and the ones that only remembers your name when it's time for exams.

Fuck the latter.

Know the people that you hang out with. Avoid the ones that brings bad influence into your studies.Go with the people that you know you can trust. Go with the ones that will walk behind you in case you shit your pants.

Trust me, you'll make it through college with them.


6. Know your place

In college, you must know how to put yourself in place before somebody else does.

Don't act like a royal highness.

Social climbers beware.

( i know this contradicts rule no. 3 but this is some other shit)

See, the thing is when you enter college, you are a nobody. You begin from the bottom. Your whole biography is not written across your back. You don't know anyone and no one knows you. You strive just like the others do.

Though sometimes, some professors would seem to like you but think, you are NOT the only likeable student in the whole campus. People would treat you just like they would treat others.

No matter how your prof likes you as a student, at the end of the day your grades would determine if your'e in deep shit or not.

If you want to earn respect, you gotta work for it. And don't brag about it. Let your achievements make the bragging for you.

Wow, i can't believe that actually came from me.


7. "Lazy" is not in a college student's dictionary.

College is simple.

You're lazy = you fail

You study = you fail

You study hard = you fail

You study so hard to the point where you get pimple outbreaks, you get a minute worth of sleep and you become bestfriends with books = you pass, barely.

The only time when you take a break when in college is when your'e taking a dump. But you're still reciting stuff that you memorized minutes prior. So yeah.


8. Internet is the mightiest blessing you could ever have.

When you're a teen and a college student and you don't have access to the internet, it's like;

A.) When you're a boy, living without a penis.

B.) When you're a girl, living without make up.

It's just impossible.

And internet is the only key to the second mightiest blessing ever known to college students; Wikipedia.

Just admit it, you've consulted wikipedia at least a thousand times through your study years.


9. Have an inspiration.

"I do this for the conversion of my dreams into reality"

That is the most clichè inspiration you would hear from a college student.

Don't believe me? Fine, ask a college student and hear their answers.

If that's not the answer you get well...............

I love marshmallows.

Anyway, for me, my idea of an inspiration would be a crush with someone. You do everything for them. You dedicate everything for them. But in reality, you're using them as a medium for the success of your work, thus, inspiration. You have a crush on somebody and you get your things done sounds like a win win for me.

Just say, whenever you are doing something hard and it seems like it's impossible to do it on time, just say, for example,

" This is for you *insert name here*"

And voila, everything is well and done just when you need it to be.

That sounds so clichè ewwww.


10. Enjoy every bit of it

College may seem to be hard but if you get the hang of it, it's actually, dare i say it, fun.

Sure it's full of stress and things but it has its prime times. Like passing a test and seeing the asshole of the class fail miserably.

Naughty me.

Trust me, this is only the start of the "real life" where everything isn't sugarcoated and we face all the crap life has to offer. And all things considered, college  seems to be  the easiest part of it all.

Think of it as a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs and then a guy drops his camera and everything goes to shit.
 ( guess what movie was that? Lol)

Just kidding.

It has its ups and downs but at the end of it all, it's one hell of a ride and you'll want more but this kind of thing only happens one so don't live around it, live with it. Except maybe when you fail your research and you get extended for another semester.

College is the last part of our lives where we are bounded, err, guided by rules. But those rules are what keeps us on track. After graduation, we would be free but the first question that pops out of our minds is "Now what?"

So while you're still in it, enjoy it. The studies, the profs, the crushes and most of it all, the people that you were with, the ones who carried you through  the way till the end.

Cheesy me.

So those are my tips on how to survive college. Follow these and surely, you can truly be called a survivor.

 So remember guys, study well, get your shit together and wear condoms. Being a teen parent is so much harder than being a college student. Like duuhhh, haven't you watched teen moms? The drama shit is real.

Always remember this quote from Mad tv;

"Kissing leads to humping,
Like farting leads to pooping."

So that's about it. And good luck!

Stay in school! Bye!


- Ian

Memory Hitch

Memory hitch.

I hate it when i do that.

It means that something will change, something will be lost forever.

It is the moment when i take in as much as i can in that specific moment of time where i connect it to an object or a person that i may not see ever again to help me remember them whenever i see that specific .object

I did it back in grade school. Weeks before graduation.

I remember that moment.

I was sitting in class and suddenly, the reality sank in to me, all at once. Everything and everybody that i am seeing now, would not be the same tomorrow, next week, next month or maybe ever. I won't see this place after graduation, but most of all, i won't see my friends everyday, anymore.

I took in the fact that there is a small window at my left, splashing bright light among us. I remember looking down at the floor and just thinking what will happen after i graduate. I remember me and my friends having random conversations as if nothing big would happen in a matter of weeks.

All my memories of grade school are stored beyond a small window.

I graduated and nothing was the same as before.

We moved to another place and i went to high school.

New faces, new places, new life.
It was all well.


I gathered years worth of memories.

Memories i'll treasure forever.

And then it happened again, a few weeks  before graduation.

The feeling of reality suddenly creeping up inside is just unsettling.

I was, once again, sitting in the room during physics class.

I took in the fact that there is a small green notebook at the floor, waiting to be picked up by its careless owner. I took in the fact that my armchair was creaking and brown. And that my teacher was discussing something but her words were overtaken by my thoughts.

A little green notebook holds it all.

I graduated and went to another place.

I went to a university and took the course that i liked.

It was, i would say, a bland experience. At first.

All my movements were robotic due to homesickness and my studies.

Go to school, study, have lunch, go back to my studies, go at the dorm, study more, sleep. And then the process repeats itself again the moment i wake up the next morning.

My daily routine is, no other word for it, bland.

And then Camps happened.

Someone melted a whole box of crayons and splashed it across my empty canvas of life.

Seeing colors being messily spread across a canvas doesn't mean anything to anyone.

But it's something to me.

All of a sudden, that blandness i felt was just.... gone.

It was all gone.

I get excited everytime i go to school knowing that he's going to be there. Where as before, i drag myself to my classroom just to attend the first period.

He is my daily motivation.

My inspiration.

At last, some meaning was injected to my boring college life.

But unfortunately, nothing really lasts.
I hate myself for not paying attention to him much more earlier.

But i hate myself even more because i did so when he is only a few months from leaving because of their OJT.

Every time i see him, i think about what would happen after he goes.

What would happen to me?

Would he take away all those colors away too and leave me there, being back to my bland routine?

The thought of the person that somehow gave color to your life leaving is really terrifying.

And the thought of it just makes me damn uncomfortable.

A month from now, that person would be just....gone.


I won't see a person walking around the shop in the most indifferent manner i could think of.

I won't see a person driving around the campus in a Volkswagen Beetle.

I won't see a person wearing a black, race event souvenir t-shirt making the silliest laugh i've ever heard.

I won't see a person grinning in  the goofiest fashion ever.

I won't see a person swinging his arms back and forth lazily in the air.

A month from now, i won't feel giddy anymore walking inside the shop.
A month from now, life at the shop would be just......bland. Again.

A month from now or so, that person would be somewhere else being supervised all the time while working. Not just for the experience, but for the grades as well.

And a month from now, my heartbeat would return to its original,yet bland,rythm.

All of those thoughts just flooded up my mind and.... Damn.

I might not see Camps ever again. For the rest of my life.

The whole senior year of our course is dedicated entirely for the OJT.

And graduation comes after that.

The odds of seeing him after college is just so slim.

And then it happened again.

Memory hitch

I took in the fact that his Beetle is parked in front of the shop. I took in the fact that above the Beetle, a tree branch with only a few leaves on it is waving with the wind. I took in the fact that the sky was clear blue. I took in the fact that i'm leaning  at  our prof's car because our class was cancelled.

It was a three hour period and my dorm was only a five minute walk away from the university. So my instincts told me to go to the dorm and just take a break.

But i didn't

I chose not to.

I chose to be in the shop, in close proximity with Camps. Just trying to steal glances as much as i can, knowing that one day, i won't be able to do it again.

Heavyheartedly,

 I took in the fact that Camps is wearing a black shirt, and he's right there, working on something with his classmates.

I took in the fact that his hair, which sweeps from right to left,  turns into a shade of brown under the sun.

And i took in the fact that the person that makes me flash the most meaningful smile i could is standing there, only a few feet from me, completey unaware that a another person in the shop is admiring him from a distance.

My heart sank.

I realized at that point that i don't need to hitch him to anything. Because everytime i enter the shop, a weird feeling suddenly burns inside me and i only know one person who could do that.

I don't have to see an object to remember him, he is on my mind the very moment i open my eyes in the morning.

And that makes it all even worse.

After a month, i would be drawn back to the dreary world of blandness.

After a month, nothing would ever be the same again inside the shop. Ever.
For me, that is.

My next semester would start off with a longing sigh, waiting for the familiar burble of a Volkswagen Beetle that would never really come.


Farewell, Camps.



 Farewell.


-Ian